Wednesday, September 1, 2010

A Real Momma is...

Because my series of Real Mom posts can be offensive to some who do things differently, though that is not the intent, and because I am getting ready to post more of them, I decided I should write up what I feel a real mom is so as to make my viewpoints on the subject clear and my Real Momma posts won't be taken the wrong way. :) If you're likely to get offended because somebody says real mommas do something a certain way and you don't do it that way I would suggest a stiff drink and a good smack up side the head. It's my blog, I'm allowed to write whatever I'd like, you're reading my opinion. Don't read it if you don't like it. I don't edit my thoughts after all and I write exactly what is running around in my head. Scary in a way lol. Part of my charm maybe, maybe not. Anyway the point here is this is me, this my MY journey, and my life plus baby :) So these are my thoughts, feeling, and experiences. 

Real Mommas suck it up and say "Let's do this" no matter the situation. Parenting is full of challenges some are bigger than others. Real mommas deal with the challenge. Sometimes they cry and sometimes they ran and sometimes they do bodily harm to people who dare to criticize them. They "Get R Done" and you'd do well to help out or get out.

Real mommas put diapers on their kids (unless they are doing some extreme potty training). Does it matter what kind? Yes, yes it does, however I could be wrong but I haven't read about or seen anyone who died from a leaky diaper or a disposable diaper. Either way they have to be changed - see comment above. So if you're fine with contributing to a landfill with a diaper that doesn't biodegrade and you're fine with the chemicals in said diaper being in contact with your babies skin then so be it. *Shrugs* it's your choice and nobody should judge you for such a minor thing as what you cover a butt with. :p

Real mommas feed their kids. If they are real super mommas they breastfeed them. It's nice to make your own baby food and even nicer to grow the produce yourself before you make it (I can't do that one b/c I didn't get a garden this year) but canned baby food is Ok too. The good folks at Gerber know what they are doing and while it isn't quite as good as fresh maybe (like formula isn't as good as breastmilk) it'll do and it is healthy.

Real mommas make sure their kids sleep... somewhere. Hopefully somewhere safe. Crib, bed, floor... *shrugs* I use a crib now but we did co-sleep for a short while. I don't like the idea of co-sleeping myself b/c I don't even like sharing a bed with my husband but I tolerated and then learned to love it when Nicholas was very very young. I couldn't do it safely though, hence the crib. Maybe next baby will be different.

Real mommas get to know their kids. Nobody knows baby better than mom. If they pay attention they can decode body language, differences in crying, and can usually tell when there is something wrong. New mom's have to work a little harder at this one but they do it and they get the hang of it. Mom's who lean more towards attachment style parenting, even if they mix and match styles tend to be better at this one. Even the ones that don't still if they pay any sort of attention at all will know their children better than anyone else. It's just hardwired that way.

Real moms research - EVERYTHING. They do not blindly follow anyone's advice on parenting. They look at the information out there and make an educated choice. They do listen to the advice of others and hopefully they keep and open mind but real mommas do it there way and they decide what that way is. They also do not bow to pressure from family, friends, co-workers, or even their spouse to do it a different way. They stick to their guns even to the point of rudeness if they have to. If they don't want their baby left to cry it better not be left to cry by family or friend. They also do not blindly follow their child's doctor's advice. They question everything and they find out why so that they can be educated and make an informed decision.

Real mom's love their children unconditionally. We all choose to express this in different way but the fact remains that regardless of how YOU feel observing a mother and her child that mother, unless she is just an awful person, loves her baby and is doing the best she can. Maybe she chooses to let her baby cry it out at nap time, or maybe she decides not to put her baby in a stroller preferring to wear him either one can be argued against but nobody should dare suggest that mother's devotion to doing what she thinks is best and in the best interests of baby.

Real mom's DO THE BEST THEY CAN! We all make mistakes and there are things that a mom would, looking back, change but we all are doing the best we can. Don't judge and don't criticise. If you see something you don't like you better zip it or help me do it another way (if I'm open to doing it another way).

So there we have it. A real mom can be defined a lot of different ways. I am doing things my way and will identify and be likely to have more respect for other mothers who agree with my logic and do things similar to the way I do them or share some of my beliefs. I can't help that. It doesn't mean I am judging and painting a negative

1 comment:

  1. you rock!!!I have learned so much with each child. With my first I was so nervous and looking up everything!!!! With each child I do some things the same and some very different.I was reading what you wrote and I could not have said it better! Nicholas is very lucky to have a mom like you!