Sunday, December 5, 2010

Ugh, Shut up Stupid Family Friend

Sometimes, you should just keep a thought to yourself. Or sometimes, and hey this is a really novel idea for some, you should get the facts on a topic before expressing an opinion. This especially applies when said opinion is 1) negative in any way or 2) judgemental in any way.

The past week has been a nightmare. Honestly, as much as I enjoyed Thanksgiving, I can see the value in not celebrating holiday's with a family meal. Nicholas ate quite a bit on "Turkey Day" and our reward was an upset tummy. For a week we had loose watery poo several times a day but  not enough to really call serious. It was enough however to give us a terrible diaper rash. He was a little red the day after Thanksgiving but the morning after that we entered diaper rash hell. That morning he had pooed in the night and it had dried to his skin. When he woke up in the morning he was VERY upset which is understandable. Daddy had to bath him to clean his rear end up. Poor poor Nicholas. We tried several different cremes and eventually realized we were going to have trouble keeping up with all the diaper changes in cloth and having enough liners to protect our cloth diapers so we fell back on disposables for a week. It didn't help much. We went through several five alarm meltdowns that usually happened whenever he had a wet diaper and it was burning his rash, We were doing everything right to treat the rash, various skin cremes, baking soda baths, and frequent diaper changes. Meanwhile we were also trying to normalize his pooping habits with a bland diet. It took almost a week but we finally got it taken care of.

About mid week we went grocery shopping and Nicholas was a happy camper off and on sitting in the cart helping us make healthy food choices. A family friend happens by and comes over to say hello. Nicholas knows her and likes her. He of course spit up on my shirt right on cue when she walked up but other than that he was a good boy meeting her again. lol. She asked how he was, he was happy enough to say hello to her but she noted that he wasn't as smiley as he normally is. It was later in the evening so being tired had something to do with it but I also explained that his hind end was a little sore so he wasn't quite 100%. Instead of asking what had happened or offering some motherly or outdated advice on treating diaper rash she gasped loudly and said "A diaper rash??? SHAME ON YOU MOMMY!!!!"
Now, pay attention students, this is the point at which a family friend goes from friend to evil hateful bitch and could wind up injured by an over tired emotionally strung out hormonal first time mother. That's not usually a good thing, especially in WalMart with witnesses. It might be a good idea to find out a few more details before you shame somebody. Not to mention her reaction was just plain RUDE. Come ON!!! You don't notice the unbrushed hair, spit up on shirt, red rimmed eyes of both parents??? Seriously? Oh that's right, you were probably a simply stellar mother who's baby never cried, got sick, had any issue whatsoever, and certainly never had diaper rash on his plastic diapered bottom. Ummm... what was that?? You don't have kids?? Oh that's right, I forgot. You're children have four legs and fur. (honestly this lady might have children, I don't know, but they certainly aren't anywhere under the age of 35 or 40 so it's been a while to say the least)
I almost couldn't speak to her after that but politely said goodbye and then cursed her all the way up the next isle. I actually quite proud that I wasn't rude right back but I did cry when I got to the car. As if my week wasn't crummy enough this lady had basically implied I was a bad mother because I couldn't control the fact that he was pooping (and wiping) more than usual and our good friend Desitin wasn't clearing it up like we thought it would.

The moral of the story is to be careful not only what you say but how you say it and make sure you understand the situation before you stick your foot in your mouth. You could really ruin someone's night and damage a first timers already shaky confidence as a parent. Better to just express a polite awwww or that's to bad or say nothing at all even than to be rude and hurtful like that.

Oh and did I mention we are also teething.... *sigh* Welcome to our little private slice of hell :)


  1. ha. i hate those moments. i've had my share. i just tell myself i'm a good momma and those bozo's (whether they have kids or not) are just jealous of my skills. (true or not...i don't care.) tell yourself that, too...i'm sure it's true in your case.

  2. Wow. That was really rude. Sorry you had to deal with that. Sounds like you've been doing everything you can for Nicholas. You're a wonderful mom. :-)