I even had to start a new thread for this one...
So Hubby has been strutting his stuff all puffed up all day long. He even strutted himself down to Lowes to purchase primer to prime nursery in the making so he can paint it. All of a sudden it has to be done right now. I guess when the doc told me to make just two more appointments he missed the part where she said that was because after the Dec. appointment she would need to see me every two weeks for the last two months (Jan/Feb)
Anyway he shut the door to said nursery in the hopes that I wouldn't breathe in any of the funky fumes. He opened the window in there and turned the fan on high while he worked. I sat in the living room, smelling the fumes anywhere with all the rest of the windows opened and fans on too to keep the air moving. Slowly I became away of the fact that there was noise coming out of the closed off room. First a little stray word here and there and then hummming and then giggling... uhhh Yeah guess who got high as a kite painting the nursery? Wonderful. Why I didn't see that coming I don't know? So in I go to drag him OUT of the bedroom, he kind of stumbled out laughing and leaning against the wall announces that he's a little 'loopy'. Uh hu... A little?? He then starts arguing with me about my insistence that he leave the house and get some fresh air, ya know lets take a walk. Buuuutttt Sweeeetie... *giggle* Sweeeeeetie *giggle* I only have ONE more wall. Finally I convinced him to go with me to walk the poodles and that helped clear his head.Not for long though, since he went right back and finished the last wall, thankfully it didn't take long.
After he finished I stuck him in the shower to clean up because my mother wanted to go look at paint. She wanted to buy us the paint since she's been wanting to help. We get the paint and are standing in line to checkout (john still giggling every so often at nothing in particular) when the lady in front of us in line who had just finished paying turns to him, bats her eyes complete with hooker make up and loudly informs him that he 'smells awesome'... He just stared at her with a big grin not sure what to say (though he was probably thinking, ahhh crap, to bad my WIFE is here... this never happens!) The cashier very nicely and unhelpfully chimes in with she's right, you do smell nice. Out puffs his chest big cheesey grin still in place and he says " Well thank you ladies, I don't know why I smell so good, but maybe it's because I'm having a Son" Then he turns halfway back and points not at me but at the baby belly. Oh my god.... you could just seeeeeeee his head, no the upper body one, swelling. Great. The hooker eyes lady keeps at it and ignores the son comment but says well whatever it is I wish I had a guy that smelled like you, bats her eyes again with what I'm sure was her best redneck come hither, and swings her hips on away.
Are you kidding me?? Am I like on TV or something? Ugh, isn't it rude to throw yourself at somebody else guy? It used to happen when we were dating every once in a while, I know everyone probably experienced that a time or two. You know the waitress NEVER refills your drink but he barely has to take a sip of his before she's there to bring him another. There was one who even slipped her phone number under the glass she had just set on the table. Why I'll never know, Hubby isn't bad looking in my opinion but he's not like the most amazing looking guy ever... at least I didn't think he was??
Anyway back to the store It didn't help that the cashier elaborates on her opinions with 'it's a nice smell, not real strong, soft maybe... just fresh and clean. Ah, and we see the head get bigger. I cut him off before Mr. Nooooo I'm not high could respond and informed her that he just got out of the shower so she must be smelling the soap. She couldn't believe it, Holy cow ma'am what kind of soap do you get him? My husband stinks. Ummm... I dunno, old spice, maybe Axe?? Meanwhile here is High Hubby puffing up all over again no doubt thinking that it's just his manlyness that smells so fantastic. Ugh.
He turned to me when we got in the car and says, "That was like one of those Axe body spray commericals that I've seen. I always watch those and get mad because I mean come on, THAT stuff never happens." Again I'm thinking to myself, yeah it never happens when you're alone, sorry to have ruined your fun.
It's almost midnight here now, we've been home for hours and he keeps mentioning that he never realized that his body wash smelled so good. I tell him all the time that he smells nice but I guess that doesn't count. Maybe that's because I only tell him so that if he ever DOESN'T smell nice I don't have to be shy about telling him that too lol. It's a wonder his head fits through the door, Honestly! Now we'll never get him back to normal!!