Saturday, May 14, 2011

RaNdoM Restaurant Experiences

Soooo, the better behaved my little man gets the more we can take him out. He LOVES to eat so it's getting easier to assume we can go have a meal out of the home on occasion. This is a good good thing for mommy and daddy, we get to get out of the house and we don't have to worry about leaving the creature.... err the toddler with a baby sitter. So no worries on trying to find somebody and no worries about what time we have to be leave or be back. We are experiencing more and more freedom and less and less of the "If I don't get out of this house I am going to keeeel you !" :) Always a nice change of pace. The only downside to dining with one of the worlds most adorable and handsome little toddlers is that you tend to attract attention. Almost as much attention as you get with a brand spanking new newborn sleeping in a car seat at crackle barrel lol. Anyway, this is a different type of attention. Because little man is so personable and it seems has never met a stranger people talk to him/us ALL the time !! These days most of the attention comes from grandparent types and it's not totally unwelcome. Other times it gets a little annoying. Below are a few of those times.....

This past month the three of us went out for pizza. Nicholas usually gets some veggies from the salad bar, some pasta, random crap that we bring from home for him to eat, and pizza crusts that my husband doesn't eat. Maybe it sounds weird but Cici's Pizza was one of the first places we were able to eat out b/c we could give little man a crust to chew on and it kept him happy while we were able to wolf down a decent meal. Now of course he gets real food but still gets a pizza crust or two. (He recently had his very first real piece of pizza but at the time of this trip he had not been allowed to have anything but crusts yet). We had been there about 15 minutes or so I suppose and Nicholas was happily munching on his lunch and a pizza crust. A pair of rather large ladies came in and sat at the table directly facing me, which would be behind my husband since he was seated across from me. They were both in tight spandex like yoga pants. I just so happen have the same pair of pants for when I am working out, no shame in working out in them.... wearing them out to a pizza buffet when they are practically a second skin and your pushing well past 300lbs... eehhh, maybe a fashion don't.  (Oh and for the record I own these pants in a smaller size, I'm not in the skinny bitch club -yet- but I'm not XXXL either, I was also wearing cloths that fit). So this lady goes up and piles two plates HIGH with pizza and comes back to sit down. She then starts eating her pizza. Me minding my own dang business for a change happens to look up from my own plate and notice her glaring at myself and Nicholas. I ignore her. I notice a few minutes later she is still glaring and now not only is she glaring she is staring right as my son chewing on his crust with a couple bits of pasta and veggie on his plate and shaking her head. WTH? Hey newsflash, check yourself and your own two plates honey! Quit looking at my kid like you want to murder us both, weirdo! She glared at us shaking her head from time to time for the rest of our meal. Creeeepy! Who does that, who glares at a smiling happy toddler (that isn't throwing food or otherwise creating mayhem) I felt like asking her what her problem was with a 14 mo old baby but whatever. Honestly I was afraid to approach her, she looked like she could do me harm lol. I settled for posting a photo of her glaring at my kid on facebook instead :P Mwahahahaha, This was unwelcome attention.

Experience two came just a week ago in a local Burger King. We sometimes get Nicholas a kids meal (chicken nuggets with apple slices and juice). He is happily munching on his nuggets and I notice an older couple, smiling pleasantly in our direction obviously amused by Nicholas. Not such a bad thing so I ignored them after sending them a nice smile in return. This is the south after all, y'all have to be polite ;) When the couple was finished with their meal and their sodas they got up and came over to our table to talk to Nicholas. The usual conversation was exchanged about how old he was and what his name was (why people want to know his name is still a mystery to me as is why people want to know details of his birth. One of these days I fully expect to be asked for his SSN by a complete stranger lol). They mentioned their own grandchildren as grandparents tend to always do and I expected that would be the end of the polite encounter. I was wrong. The older gentleman proceeded to get in Nicholas' face trying to make him laugh and then POP he popped out his lower teeth which apparently were false teeth. OMG! Hey, A-hole we're eating here!!! God Almighty, kill meee.... I almost threw up. I have a weird phobia about false teeth which I guess I can file on the shelf next to my belly button, needles, and spider phobias. The look on Nicholas' face was equally horrified. The man and woman laughed and he did it again. Well, that's one way to get a toddler's attention and after two more false teeth show and tells Nicholas was grabbing at his own teeth to see if THEY were going to come out. I was ready to faint and sooooo glad to bid farewell to this couple. This was unwanted attention!  

Yesterday I took my husband to a new place that just opened up in town to try it out. I had been already and liked it and noticed that they had a decent priced lunch menu. Aside from the dumb blonde waitress (And I can say that b/c I AM blonde) who couldn't figure out that we really DID just want water for Nicholas to drink and not a soda or sports drink of any kind and we really  DID want steamed veggies as a side for his kids meal VS the "smiley fries" that come standard we had a good experience. There weren't many people in the place since it was a weekday just after the bulk of the main lunch rush. The wait staff was in love, as many a wait staff have been, with Nicholas and his antics. The hostess carried him to the table and proclaimed that he must know a grandma when he see's one and the waitresses kept coming by to tickle him as we waiting for our meals. At a table nearby were two older ladies and a teenager, who come to think of it should have been in school but whatever lol. After the two toddler girls three tables over (in the opposite direction) left Nicholas decided he would engage these ladies behind us. He kept turning around and staring like a creepy stalker and then waving to see if he could get their attention. He even went as far as to hold out a bit of half eaten grilled cheese to them. He didn't go unnoticed by them or by several other people who could see him. By the time we were able halfway through our meal the entire dining room had noticed the adorable boy with the airplane toy and the grilled cheese. Nice, I do so love to be the center of attention when a waiter delivers a taco salad that is bigger than my head (a fact I was unaware of when I ordered it!). It was really hard to get Nicholas to eat any lunch which made me feel bad for paying the up charge for the steam veggies with his meal, because he was way more interested in getting the attention of his chosen new friends. They kept egging him on too. Just as soon as I would make him turn around and get him interested in his food they would catch his attention and continue to interact with him. It made it really difficult to eat actually on account of I had to pay attention and make sure he didn't try and pitch his cup, or any food towards their table. Kid's got a good arm, and well.... that's just not Ok to throw food or anything else at other diners. Throw it at your dad or the waitress like everyone else! You're not special lol. Another couple who had been watching the whole thing stopped to talk to us on their way out about the usual how cute and how old and then parted with a rather ominous good luck. Good luck?? WTF?? Is he about to explode or something??? I'm a first time mom, if you know something I don't now isn't the time for secretes.... gosh, do I have enough baby wipes to cover what is about to happen???? I was nervous for the rest of the meal. Finally we were done with lunch and Nicholas' new friends insisted we bring him over to their table before we left to say a proper hello. Friendly folks but still, this was unwelcome attention since it went on for so long. On a side note; it was also an unwelcome experience to have a lady in a ford Taurus try and run me over in the parking lot while we were getting into the car. I sprang to safety, thankfully daddy had the baby on the other side of the car, just in time to avoid being smacked with the car door. Thanks a lot lady! When she got out of her car she shrugged and sort of thanked me for getting out of the way so quickly saying " you must have known I was HUNGRY !!!" Uhhh yeah, you look hungry... hey you also look like that shirt/pants set is four sizes to small. Not to be rude but Kmart DOES carry the extra extra large fo yo hungry ass.... This is the time when it's Ok to go ahead and up size and that car you almost hit me with is brand new so don't tell me you can't afford it. :p

I need a little sign or something sometimes. The constant awww he's so cute, how old is he? What's his name? When's his birthday? Well all that get's tiring after a while. I need a stay away I'm crabby or sick or my baby is rabid and bites sign. Oh or better yet, and perhaps more practical, maybe I should go on vista print and get little baby business cards made with the answers to all the usual questions and a thanks for stopping buy type message. Then I could just smile and hand them out before people had a chance to interrupt a family meal. Then again it's probably friendlier on the wallet and the waistline to just continue to eat all our meals at home. *shurgs* can't win I guess. Dining out is fun, meeting new people is fun, constantly not being able to talk to your husband or finish a meal .... maybe not so much fun.
What's a girl to do ? : P

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