Tuesday, February 1, 2011

This time last year....

A year ago today I found out that your arrival was imminent. You weren't supposed to arrive for at least another week but when we went to our doctors appointment mommy's blood pressure was WAY WAY to high and she had a headache and you weren't moving around very much. It was time, the doctor said we couldn't wait any longer and gave mommy the news that you would be here the day after tomorrow. I just blinked at her, I wasn't sure what to say or how to feel about that. The whole plan had changed. My whole week had been planned out and now the plan didn't matter. All of a sudden the reality came crashing in on me that I was going to be a mother. Everything seems so much more real than it had ever been before. I was overwhelmed. With the receptionist I canceled the rest of my weekly visits and scheduled a check up for two weeks then left the office with well wishes from the nurse and the reception staff. I manage to not cry in the elevator and when I got to the car I send daddy a text message to tell him what the doctor had said, he working downstairs in the main part of the hospital and was really excited. I sat in my car and cried for a few minutes before heading home. I cried off an on all the way home. I guess I was just scared. When I got home I did a little housework and a little more crying and took a nap. A nap always makes things better when you are pregnant :P
I didn't tell anyone other than daddy. Not granny, or Red, or Buff, or Luvie or Big Daddy, or my poodle friends. The only people I told were my mommy friends on WTE and discovered several other mommies has received the same news and I would not be a lone in labor and delivery, at least not in spirit. I couldn't even tell my mother over a happy meal at McDonalds. I sat there and talked about the need to go ahead and meet with the pet sitter "just in case" and acted like nothing had changed.
Of course I HAD to tell our pet sitter the next day so that she would know to come on Wednesday instead of Saturday to take care of the pups.

It's so strange to think back and compare what my thoughts and feelings were then and what they are now. Now I am super excited for your very first birthday, which is the day after tomorrow :) Or if I don't type a little faster it'll technically be tomorrow lol. Then I was frighten and not sure what to expect. Nervous that this was IT and it was almost time. I cleaned and cleaned, and cried, and cooked and cleaned and cried a little more though I tried not to do it in front of daddy. I didn't want him to think I wasn't happy, I was just nervous and overwhelmed. Sort of like how I was overwhelmed when you were born. I couldn't believe how quickly the months of pregnancy had gone by and I wasn't sure how good a mommy I'd be. Hopefully I'm doing OK now :)

It's amazing that you are almost a year old now.... where did the time go? Just like how pregnancy flew by so to has this first year of parenthood. Simply amazing :)

1 comment:

  1. Love it! How time has flown. Amazing that they're almost 1 already. So much has changed in just 1 little year. Congrats, Mommy!!!!